It turns out that men have found it difficult to have sexy thoughts about a woman in mask, goggles, rubber gloves and blue scrubs. For years ‘sexy nurses’ has been a staple of many a mans fantasy but a report has found that this is no longer the case.

Well known pervert, John Halfbreed, said that he found the whole thing slightly depressing. ‘I can fantasise easily about a photo of a woman wearing a short dress that shows off her curves, but this? It’s too tricky a wank even for me, and I am usually up for a challenge.’

Nurses, both male and female breathed a collective sigh of relief and asked if they can just get on with their fucking job now without being objectified please?

Wash your hands after reading this article.