This is something that I posted on BlueSky earlier today, while I was trying to get myself to make something after another tiring day at work.
It is unedited apart from one errant spelling mistake that I saw after I posted it. I felt like I wanted to keep it somewhere, partly for other people to see but also as an aide memoire to myself of how I feel at the moment. I am moving forwards it just sometimes is harder than others.
Here is the post, if you want to see it in situ I will leave a link below to it:
I wish that I could afford to work less hours, or to change job. I want to write and make funny stuff, and I am making strides towards at least make things again. The problem is that my day job is mentally tiring and stressful.
Sometimes I come home and all of the drive that I had to do things has gone. I am still trying to nibble away at things slowly, but it is sometimes frustrating to me that I cannot bang out a project after a full days work. *
My ADHD and general mental health allied to a job that doesn’t care as long as I am productive is slowly wearing me down. I am not sick enough to not work, but some days it is really not that far off. Is this an excuse? Maybe you see it that way, and I am glad for you that you do not understand.
I would love to work a full time job and then be able to come home and create things for nothing, but I simply cannot do that anymore.
So, on that subject I am looking for writing work, I have tentatively put some feelers out and form there I will also be looking at having adverts on my podcast when I make it.
(Feel free to suggest stuff, I would be grateful.)
I know a lot of people don’t like that, (Adverts I mean) and I am one of them, but if you want quality entertainment for free you are going to have to put up with it or pay a Patreon or somesuch. Sorry, people need to eat.
There are other issues with subscriptions, the pressure to produce regularly and the feeling that it gives some followers that they have some level of say over your work. Nothing is perfect though right? Not when it comes to late stage capitalism and bleeding creatives dry.
TL,DR? I am not 100% health wise but I am getting better, I want to be able to make things again and would like to possibly get paid a bit for it. Even if it is only to improve the equipment I use to make things. Thanks to coming to my Teddy Bear talk.
*ADHD meant that I could do that when I was invested in a project. It still does, but I have less energy these days.
Here is the link to the post on BlueSky, should you feel need to go look at it there.
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