Let’s talk about the unpredictable choices of our equine chums.

Inspired by an article on the BBC website (Link at the end of this post), let’s talk about passing animals on the road. There are several important things that people often forget about horses when they are driving passed them.

They are alive, unpredictable and most importantly bloody huge! If one dropped onto your bonnet when you were parked in a supermarket car park you would almost certainly notice that. 

Almost certainly.

If you are the average Nissan Qashqai driver you might not, I accept that.*

Why would you do anything so daft as try and upset several tons of animal when you are so close to it? Slow down, wait your turn and move as far over as you can comfortably do. If you have to drive slowly behind the horse for a bit just do that, and hold back by a good distance.

You see horses are like you and me unpredictable. Unpredictable is fine when it comes to deciding on nights out. It’s entertaining, it makes life exciting and fulfilling.

It is not so much fun when it means that 2 tons of Findus Lasagna is about to stamp angrily on your car.

Have a thought for the people riding the horse as well, often they will be quite young and inexperienced. It would be awesome if they could live long enough to become better horse riders wouldn’t it?

Oh and turn your loud music down as well. As intelligent people, we can all accept that you are a wrong un for your music choices, but horses are much more sensitive to loud cack music. 

You will never see a horse at a Bryan Adam’s gig, for example. Although I did once see a donkey outside a Robbie Williams gig touting tickets. No I didn’t. I told a lie for comedic effect. 

So simply turn your music down and let you, the horse and rider to live to ride another day.

At this point I am going to do something unusual, I am going to tell you a story from my own life. Sit down boys and girls, get yourself comfortable and we shall begin. 

Many years ago, in a place far, far away. (Late 80s in Central Scotland) I was driving my Mini on a country road a bit too fast, the arrogance of youth and all that. When I came around a blind corner to find a horse stood broadside across the road. To be fair to the horse, it seemed as surprised at the situation as I did. 

I braked as much as I could and took the decision to steer to the left. Thankfully the horse had more road smarts than me at that point and backed up, allowing me just enough room to stop and pull up on the verge. 

I knew where the horse had come from, the gate was open and I had seen it in that field before. So I took a breath and went over to the horse and led it back into the field. Which took a bit longer than I would have liked, being as we were both standing in the middle of the road, and horses are sometimes a little stubborn. You may be aware of that. You can lead a horse to a field, but you cannot make it understand the Highway Code. I am paraphrasing here.

I eventually got it back in the field, shut the gate, and popped off to inform the farmer what had happened. 

So as you can imagine I am quite keen on horses being looked after as one looked after me and I did the same in return.

Just be nicer when you are driving. Okay?

Okay. Have a good weekend, drive in a more friendly way and you will more likely be around to read more of my garbage next week. 

(Subscribe, like and all that. SMASH THAT NOTIFICATION… I cannot do that even in sarcasm.)

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-kent-68241086

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*The Nissan Qashqai has won the inaugural 2024 Trevs best car for drivers who are often not really paying attention. It beat off stiff competition from the Nissan Juke and the Hyundai Sportage, but it soldiered on bravely to the win, pushing its way passed shopping trolleys and parking at an angle across the podium with an assortment of cuddly toys scattered across the dashboard behind the windscreen.