Hi, you may notice that I have not posted on here very much over the last few months. That has been deliberate, I have really been struggling with depression and anxiety.

This has mostly been due to my pretty awful day job, but it is not really conducive to being creative after a full day smashing my face repeatedly off a desk. I have had some help, and I now feel a lot better. (Not right, just better) I am now embarking on new projects and challenging myself in ways that I have not done for a very long time.

This includes the previous post where I uploaded an ambient track and video that I made in two afternoons. This received a good response, and I will look at uploading more of my music over time. This is something that I make that I generally keep to myself, but I see no harm in sharing the odd track here and there. I have also started to learn Blender again so that I can make visualisation videos for the tracks to make them visually more appealing too. https://trevorship.co.uk/a-suitably-pompous-name/

The other thing that I am doing is embarking on a couple of writing collaborations, one of which is steaming ahead at pace, we are hoping to eventually pitch the idea to US TV. Now I am not naive when it comes to working in TV, I have done a bit of it before, mainly UK TV but I have written some gags for late-night hosts in the US back in the late 90s. (Although they never got used but that is also TV writing.)

The reason I mention this is because I recently had a fairly major epiphany, I want to be a writer. Now I know to a lot of you this might be a ‘Well duh” moment, but it was not to me. I have always known that I like writing, most of the time, but I have flirted around making videos, podcasts, stand up and improv because I got burnt by TV companies some years ago (Here if you are interested – https://trevorship.co.uk/bad-credits/), and so eventually I pretty much gave up. When I say that I want to be a writer, that means for now at least a writer with a full-time job, this has advantages and disadvantages. Disadvantages are obvious, lack of energy/time/resources and so on.

Advantages mean that I am not making a living from it, so I can be a bit freer with what I try to make, and giving myself time limits to make it. I intend to do more short story writing for example.

So whilst I may go quieter on the social media for a bit, I will be updating this website and making it into my own, instead of Chunky Mango, as it will end up being my shopfront after all. I am also going to look into making a mailing list as well, if anyone has any information on doing that I would be most appreciative, I did run one for the White Coats, but it was all done manually by me. Some level of automation would be helpful so I have one less thing to worry about.

The outcome of all of this is that I intend to simplify my creative life somewhat, so I am going to focus on fewer things and put more effort into them. My problem is that I have a butterfly mind, which I am sure is why I have an unusual look out compared to most people. It does make it very hard for me to make things, and it must be even harder for the people who live with me/put up with me. Thank you to all of you who do.

That’ll do for now I think.

Love, hugs and kisses

Trev.