Originally posted on my old blog on October 8th, 2016.

Why do companies think that anthropomorphising food for adverts is a good thing?

I only ask, as I saw a van today that promised that it was transporting the freshest and most delectable fruit and vegetables inside. I didn’t stop the driver to ascertain the veracity of that claim, I had no intention of squeezing anything he was carrying thank you very much.

Alongside that rather bold claim was a cartoon drawing of a suspiciously happy looking tomato, with a smile from, well, side to side I suppose. The artist that created this visual feast had not seen fit to draw the poor beleaguered fellow any ears.

Messed with the creative vision I suppose.

This drawing set me wondering why it is seen as a good idea to make people look at food with a human face or characteristics on it? Is this not tantamount to appealing to a baser cannibalistic nature? Some primaeval need to eat each other, that we no longer allow ourselves to feel?

Or is it just a bit weird?

Why was it smiling? Was it some form of food based collaborator? Working alongside it’s human incarcerators to better it’s own life while selling it’s compatriots out. No one that suspects that they are going to end up sliced on a cheese sandwich is that chirpy surely.

I also know that I have no intention of eating anything that the laughing cow makes until I find out definitively what the fuck she is laughing at.

I maybe being paranoid here, but I want to know that we won’t all be chowing down on her produce when she reveals her sick mind control plans to usurp the human race as the dominant species on the planet. Gradually poisoning us with cheese analogous products that are laced with some form of mind control serum. Intent on enslaving everyone of us in support of a bovine revolution.

It could happen, don’t patronise me with a pat on the head. You won’t have time to thank me for pointing out the obvious when a Friesian is giving you directions on the correct way she wants her floor scrubbed.

Just saying.

Is this form of advertising some subtle way to remind everyone that we are (currently at least) the top of the food chain?

“See that thing there? I want it killed, cooked and brought to my table!”

“Are you sure?”

“How dare you question my food desires, bring it to me at once.”

“Okay, the bloke on table three, with no common sense at all, is trying to prove some odd point by ordering cooked standard lamp on a jus of carpet and fag ash.”

“How would sir like his standard lamp cooked?”

“Lightly.”

Yes, I know that is a weak joke. No need to thank me for that either.